Full recipe credit to a Reddit comment made by u/funnyusernamehaver34 on r/traaaaansbiansCooking, tweaks by me (Valentine).
Jump to RecipeAlright listen up, we are supposed to be asleep it is 3:30 am but it just occured to me that I could post this recipe here and the world needs to see it. Best f**cking chocolate chip cookies I’ve ever made.
(See, Tom? I’m already censoring my own swears so you don’t have to do it later! Growth <3)
Obligatory story here– was scrolling Reddit1, found a post from a forum for transgender lesbians, which I am not, but it was also a cooking sub, and I do cook. I don’t remember the original post because I’m an amnesiac or whatever.
Anyway there was a comment underneath the post by the beautiful2 u/funnyusernamehaver34 who said she’d gotten very, very inebriated3 and made up this cookie recipe. It sounded good and I made it and it was, and every time I’ve made it since it was a hit.
Gonna post the recipe not in pink so it’s more legible but best believe this post is my doing. Ok? Ok.
INGREDIENTS
Wet
– 2 sticks of butter
– 3/4 cup sugar
– 3/4 cup brown sugar
(If you like it really sweet you can add more sugar, I don’t.)
– 2 eggs
Dry
– 3 cups flour
– 1/2 tsp baking powder
– 1/2 tsp baking soda
– Chocolate chips
of whatever kind you want it doesn’t really matter. I used a chopped up candy bar once, the kind that’s barely chocolate, and it was fine.
MAKES: 24 little cookies, 18 medium cookies, or 12 big cookies. (Or, if you’re going through a breakup/finals week/death, one really big one)
Step 1:
You’re gonna brown the sticks of butter, and what that means is put that stuff in a skillet on medium-low heat until it starts to smell toasty and look golden. Don’t burn it. There’s no coming back from burnt butter.
Then once it’s brown, put it in a bowl and stick it in the fridge for 30ish minutes. You want it to be solidified but not rock hard.
Step 2:
Put your sugars in a bowl, then add your butter and eggs. Cream them. If you have access to a hand beater, use that. If you’re a college student with no means for such things, stir it really aggressively with a spoon and pretend it’s whatever is preventing you from buying a hand beater.
Do that until it’s creamy.
Step 3:
Dump in your dry ingredients. You really should pre-mix them before hand, but feel free to skip it (I do). Make sure to measure the baking powder and baking soda accurately, or you will end up with lumps and not cookies.
Stir that stuff up until it looks like cookie dough without the chocolate chips.
Step 4:
Add the chocolate chips. Measure with your heart. A good general rule is to use about the same amount of chips as you did flour. But honestly just add until it looks delicious.
Step 5:
Ball up the dough in one big ball and wrap it in plastic wrap, or cover it with a dish towel, if you don’t have plastic wrap. Stick it in the fridge for two hours. Overnight is fine, but two hours worked out better for me. When you take it out, it’s gonna look harder than it should.
Once you take the dough out, go ahead and preheat your oven to 350.
Step 6:
Scoop the dough into whatever size cookies you want. Put them on a baking sheet with parchment paper. Oven, 350 degrees stick them in there.
Start checking them at 8 minutes and take them out once they look cracked on top and golden at the edges. Should take 11 minutes at the most.
You’re done. Bam. If you don’t eat them all in one sitting, they keep real well in a tupperware or sealed ziploc.